We're all going on a booshy holiday
by BeckyRocks-x
Summary: After last summer's disastrous holiday, involving a narrow escape from horny yetis, Howard allows Vince to book a week in the Goofy lodge. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi **

**I know I haven't finished 'In His Shoes' yet, but I have writers block, and instead of having any ideas for that, I thought up this. However I ****am**** still writing 'In His Shoes'.**

**It isn't related to any of my other stuff btw. **

**Past is in Italics btw, and the flashback refers to the 'call of the yeti' episode.**

**Disclaimer. ****Were disclaimers invented to depress us all and make us admit to not owning things like the boosh? But anyway, I don't own the Booshiverse or any other already copyrighted stuff. However, every cloud has a silver lining- I will own the boosh one day.**

**Becky**

**Xx**

**We're all going on a Booshy holiday.**

**Chapter 1**

Vince walked into the lounge of the flat that he shared with his flatmates; a jazz maverick named Howard, a shaman called Naboo, and Naboo's familiar- a gorilla called Bollo.

Howard looked Vince up and down.

"What on earth are you wearing?" asked Howard, looking at Vince's pointy black boots, silver drainpipes and black t-shirt.

"Travel casual, I didn't really wanna attract too much attention on the plane you know" said Vince putting his large black sunglasses on.

Howard looked at him in horror.

"Plane?" He asked worriedly.

"Yeah, a plane, I'm not getting a boat, and ending up stuck on some crappy island with just a bunch of coconuts and you for company!"

"By the way Howard, do you know an interesting fact about planes? Gary Numan's a pop star, but he can fly a plane- genius!" said Vince.

"Yes" interrupted Howard, "But why couldn't we have gone on a British holiday somewhere, there's lots of museums and things we could have visited"

"Why would we want to spend our summer in a stuffy old museum full of old stuff?" asked Vince, who was shocked anybody could make the suggestion that museums were better than a week in the goofy lodge.

"Its interesting that's why" added Howard, who was equally shocked that somebody could find the idea of a summer full of rich, fulfilling history boring.

"Whatever Howard, but your holiday ideas end up with us nearly being raped by a yeti, and my hair being put in bunches!"

"That was a momentary lapse in my holiday planning skills sir!"

"You still agreed I could choose the holiday and sort it out and stuff this year, remember.."

_One year ago…_

"_Can we go to the goofy lodge next year?" Asked Vince._

"_Fine by me" agreed Howard._

"I suppose so" said Howard.

"Exactly, so I got myself organised and booked us a week in the goofy lodge in Florida" said Vince.

"Bollo, Naboo, are you ready?" said Howard, "Or Vince's organisation efforts will have been wasted"

"Yeah, we're coming" said Naboo, who was for once carrying a suitcase.

"Wow!" said Vince, "You brought a case with you!"

"Yeah, I have my spare turban, and my carpet for if that ball bag gets us in a any kind of trouble again" said Naboo, looking over in Howard's direction.

"Vince, I only have one case, that's sensible, how are you going to carry all of those to the taxi?" asked an exasperated Howard.

Vince looked down at his five large cases, he couldn't leave them behind, what if certain items of clothing were fashionable in America? But suddenly, he had a good idea-

"Bollo, will you help carry my stuff to the taxi please?"

"Yeah, sure" grunted Bollo"

A yellow taxi was waiting outside the flat, and Bollo bundled the bags and cases into the car boot.

The four people climbed into the taxi, and asked the driver to take them to the airport. The unfortunate driver looked at Bollo, and thought that he must have been dreaming, because how often do you drive a gorilla to the airport?

Despite the driver's confusion, they all reached the airport in one piece and proceeded through to passport control, where they put their bags on a conveyer belt to be taken through to the plane.

"Hold on a second!" said Vince quickly, as he ran into WH Smith's, returning with a large carrier bag full of sweets and magazines.

They then all proceeded through to the departure lounge, and sat on the plastic seats.

"Bored"

"Even more bored"

"Completely bored"

"Really bored"

"Bored bored bored"

"Vince, shut up and read your magazine" said Howard grabbing Vince's NME out of his WH Smith's bag and throwing it at him.

"Besides, we'll be able to leave soon anyway", he added.

As if by magic, a voice over the speakers announced that flight 21a to florida could proceed through to their aeroplane.

"Ready for this?" asked Naboo, as they walked onto their plane, awaiting a week in the goofy lodge.

**Good, bad, belongs in a bin?**

**Shall I continue?**

**Please Review and tell me.**

**But be nice, I've had a tiring week lol **


	2. The Plane Journey

**Hi,**

**Thanks for the positive reviews, it means a lot to me (yeah, I'm such a sad cow), so please read and review this one please.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the mighty boosh, Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding do. I however, one day will have full ownership of Noel, Julian and the Boosh. Hopefully ;)**

**Dedication All who have read, reviewed, alerted or favourited, especially Jamie (ButtonsMagoo) for her offer of help with all things Florida, I'm probably gonna need it.**

**Chapter Two: The plane journey.**

"I get the window seat!" squealed an excitable Vince Noir, as he bounded onto the plane, diving into his seat.

Howard sat down next to him, and Naboo sat next to Howard. Bollo was left to sit across the small aisle, near a rather alarmed looking old lady.

"Erm, I need to get some, Err, travel sweets!" said Howard quickly.

"I'd better get off this plane right now and go and get some, yeah?"

"Are you scared of flying?" asked Vince.

"No of course not, I'm a man of action sir!"

"Then just stay there, we'll be leaving soon anyway."

"Can you please all quieten down and listen to the safety procedures please?" asked an air hostess over the plane's speakers.

"Just listen to what they say and you'll be fine Howard" said Vince trying to reassure Howard.

The air hostesses' safety speech seemed to be calming Howard down. Being reassured that the plane was safe and that life jackets and oxygen masks were available in case of emergency made him feel a lot better.

"You know what Vince, I think I can do this" said Howard happily.

Suddenly, an air hostess started to talk again.

"Ladies and gentlemen your pilot will just be saying a few words, and then we will take off for America ladies and gentlemen"

"Hey!" screamed an awfully familiar voice over the speaker system.

"I'm Bob Fossil, I can fly the metal armed machine monsters now"

The passengers could just hear an nervous sounding co-pilot hissing the word 'plane' at Bob Fossil, and Bob saying "Note to self: plane" into his 'talk-box'

"Now I just gotta press this little buttony thing, and we're off to wherever we're supposed to be going!"

Howard lost all sense of calm and composure that the safety speech had given him, and he started to scream.

"Arghh, I'm too young to die, I have so much to give!" screamed Howard loudly for the whole plane to hear.

"Shut up Howard, you're making us look like jerk-offs" Naboo lisped angrily at him.

"But we're doomed sir! Fossil's flying us over oceans and stuff like that to America! He didn't even know what a plane was called!"

Howard tried to get up, but Bollo got up, plugged Howard in, and tightened his belt so he couldn't move, before returning to his seat.

The plane suddenly started to quickly move forwards along the runway, before moving upwards, tilting madly to the side.

Fossil had accidentally left the microphone in the cockpit on, and the passengers could hear the co-pilot yelling at Fossil.

"NO! not that lever! you'll kill us all!"

"I'm not made of Einstein of nothing like that, so you do it if you're so good at driving the"

"Plane!" said Fossil, pressing his talk-box for the last word.

"I bloody well will drive it!" said the panicking co-pilot.

"See Howard, that man's driving the plane now, its all good!"

"I guess so, but why don't you tell me a story or something to take my mind off of it?"

"A story? About what?" asked Vince grinning, his large blue eyes lighting up.

"Your childhood or something"

"I was just going to have a little sleepie though, I'm tired"

"You wanted to go on a plane, you can calm my nerves"

"Why don't you just drink some herbal tea or something?"

"That won't help!"

"OK then, I'll tell you what happened with the face stealing monkeys"

"Yes! I've been waiting for that story for years sir!"

"Shh, don't interrupt me then!"

"Sorry"

"So Bryan had left me with Jahooli the leopard, and we'd gone hunting, ate some soft tasty gazelle meat. It was really hot in the jungle, and I was really full, so I felt really tired, and just as I had settled down for a little sleepie, Kalooni, the dirty cobra came over and said that I shouldn't sleep, or the monkey folk would steal my face, and then I accidentally fell asleep, but guess what, this part is really weird.."

Vince suddenly stopped talking.

"Then what! I'm all juiced up now!" said Howard eagerly.

"'I'll tell you later, the films starting now"

"But you didn't tell me anything new! I already knew the other stuff!"

"That's another story for another time, just watch the film"

"But, you're being a juicy dangler again!"

"That's my style!, that's how I roll!"

"That's perverted sir!"

But Vince didn't hear, because he had already plugged in his headphones and settled down to watch 'Captain Cabinet, The Movie'.

Naboo and Bollo were watching the movie too, so Howard was left with no other choice but to get his headphones out and watch the film.

Two hours passed, and when the film was over, the air hostesses started to hand out food.

Vince opened his and pulled such a strange face, that even Howard had to laugh at him.

"What's the problem little man?"

"Its weird brown stuff in a tub, Urgh"

Naboo looked at Vince.

"Shall I make all of it disappear?"

"Yes!" said Vince, Howard and Bollo all together.

"FOSSIL!" screamed Naboo, "Do you want some free food?"

"Yeah!" yelled Fossil, running towards them, his flabby belly bouncing, as he grabbed the containers and bounded back to the cockpit.

"Nice one Naboo!" said Vince.

"Naboo do good" grunted Bollo.

"I thought you were gonna use some shaman magic!" said Howard.

"I thought it would be easier than getting my spell book off of the hand-luggage shelf"

"I guess so" agreed Howard.

"Have some sweets and stuff", said Vince, passing his carrier bag of sweets around. "Their nicer than the plane food they give you!"

Naboo, Howard and Bollo all nodded in agreement.

An hour or so later, Vince began to get a bit restless and bored, like a small child who was bored of having to sit still for too long.

"Howaaard?"

"What Vince?"

"I'm bored!"

"Not again!"

"Yes again!"

"I had to entertain you, now its your turn to entertain me!"

"I'm not a clown or anything like that!"

"Just do something!"

"OK then, I'll tell you all about bebop!"

"No Howard! Anything but that!"

"Ok, I'll tell you about when I was a child"

"Here we go" said Vince sarcastically.

"Well, as a young lad, when I was living in Leeds, I used to really enjoy playing musical instruments- like trumpets"

"Did you do anything interesting?" asked Vince.

"Yeah, I used to collect bookmarks, and I was the youngest member of the jazz club!"

"That's because only old people, the mentally ill and you like jazz!" added Vince.

"Jazz is better than that electro rubbish of yours, I mean Gary Numan? The Human League? What's going on there?"

"How can you not like Gary Numan, you've gone wrong in your mind- tank!"

"I have not sir!"

"Have too!"

"Have not!"

"How old are you two?" asked Naboo.

"Act age not shoe size" grunted Bollo.

"Could all passengers please put their seatbelts on, and return to their seats, we will be landing shortly" announced an air hostess.

Soon the plane was moving downwards onto the runway at quite a quick speed. Howard was getting scared again, and was clinging onto Vince's arm.

When the plane landed, Howard quickly let go of Vince's arm and acted like nothing had happened.

"Lets go and get our bags then" said Vince, as the four friends left the plane to start their summer holiday.

**Hehe,**

**What a load of ramblings from my little mind-tank **

**Hit the review button, we'll both enjoy it.**

**Oh, and R&R my other story, 'In His Shoes' if you're bored.**

**Shameless plugging.**

**Becky**

**xx**


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